Chick-fil-A’s New Hate Sauce

Iowa

Will the SPLC label Chick-fil-A a hate group?

“NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Customers across the nation who turned out for Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day were in for a surprise, as the chicken restaurant chose today to launch a new product, Hate Sauce.

Delighted customers mobbed the restaurants to try the zesty new sauce, with many chicken fanciers ordering their sandwiches with extra hate. “It’s so spicy it makes your mouth feel like it’s on fire—like a gay couple in hell,” said Harland Dorrinson, who sampled the sauce at a Chick-fil-A in Orlando.”

Note: The video below was shot in Iowa.

20 Comments

  1. “It’s so spicy it makes your mouth feel like it’s on fire—like a gay couple in hell,”

    That is some funny stuff right there. Excellent comedy. Regardless of whom you support.

  2. Please note this was . . . SATIRE, having been titled

    “The Borowitz Report
    Fake news and political satire.”

  3. Here’s the non-comedy version:

    “NEW YORK (AP)—Customers across the nation who turned out for Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day are in for a surprise, as the chicken restaurant, under a Civil Rights violations investigation by the Justice Department, was forced by Homeland Security to install facial recognition security cameras in all their facilities. All customers who showed up today will be immediately put on the terrorist watch list and the no-fly list, and will be forced to perform 300 hours of community service and attend 6 weeks of tolerance classes.

  4. “haha, you better be careful Hunter, Princess Shep Smith might hit you with his luscious eyelashes if he catches you there ‘intoleratin’ ;)”

    Didn’t he come out with Anderson Cooperchute?

  5. oooh how I wish some of you here had been right in line behind this “totally heterosexual, totally not gay” (suuuure, lol) guy……what a jerk.

  6. On the firedog lake “puns”.

    What’s your order?

    Fascist Fries and a Fillet O Falangist… Gimme a Goering size soda.
    The kids will have the Pinochet Fingers and the Guernica Wings. A double Lynchburger hold the mayo. A cup O’Coughlin, black two sugars a some deep fried dunkin Goebbels.

  7. I’m Canadian, so I have never had Chick-Fil-A, but damn I think I want some now. Anything to piss off the fags and their jew backers.

  8. When the gays invade the franchises, I wonder if some of them might be filmed being disgusting perverts. I’d recommend that everyone show up and record the gays being gay. One of em will say or do something counter productive.

    The planned Gay day on the third is wide open for breibart style trickery. He’d dress a chap wearing lunatic and catch the organizers off guard.

    If provokateurs chant:
    “death to Christians! Ra Ra Ra!” and burn a bible. Then burn a stars and stripes or something equally offensive the whole thing could turn into a PR bonanza.

    The moron queers will join in and damage themselves further.
    destroy their own

  9. The pro-Chick-fil-A Catholic Action response to the attempted queering of Chick-fil-A should be:
    Age catamite – fac mihi hunc diem felicissimum
    Go ahead punk (in Latin means the one who gets it up the asterix) – make my day.

  10. You know, I wondered what the heck this article was all about, until I clicked the link.

    NEW YORK

    Borowitz

    Jew

    Christophobe

    FAGGOT.

    I understand now. Nothing to see here. Hit the delete button on his life. Gotcha.

  11. “Fascist Fries and a Fillet O Falangist… Gimme a Goering size soda.
    The kids will have the Pinochet Fingers and the Guernica Wings. A double Lynchburger hold the mayo. A cup O’Coughlin, black two sugars a some deep fried dunkin Goebbels.”

    John- laughed till I cried. All I could think of was that “Fawlty Towers” Episode about ‘Prawn Goebbels’ and the talking moosehead. Hysterical.

  12. John says:
    August 2, 2012 at 4:20 am

    You forgot a Mengele milkshake, Pol-Pot-atoes, and Lenin cream pie!

  13. I never heard of this place either, Chick Fil A! But now I’m it’s #1 fan. I will have an order of Fascist Fries, please. A Goering size Soda! Lynchburger, sounds soooo good!!!

  14. Bring your lap-tops with ya’ and read up on the Knights of The Golden Circle, that classic group of Southern fellas :

    http://knights-of-the-golden-circle-blogspot.com/

    If link doesn’t work, Google :
    ” theodore roosevelt + golden circle”

    That was the google search term I used. This website was on the first page of selections. Very interesting that it came up on a google search about Theodore Roosevelt. How can that be? Something to keep researching.

    Another good Google search :
    ” theodore roosevelt + the golden circle + whale.to”

  15. That ‘hate sauce’ bit is actually a good capsule summary of this entire row over Chick-fil-A: the left is now hopping up and down with clown makeup on, screeching the same few words over and over again: HATE HATE HAYTE H8T HATERISTIC HATE-FILLED HATEISTS. ‘Homophobes’ were engaging in an ‘act of contempt’ by ordering ‘hate chicken’ which ‘tastes better because of the hate, mmm-mm hate’.

    They’ve gotten so ridiculous, I don’t know how anyone can possibly resist laughing at them anymore. Their attacks have no gravity at all. Like when that Tory in Britain tweets an apology – oh, he didn’t mean to cast aspersions on multiculturalism; why didn’t he tweet something along the lines of “liberals shocked that non-liberal is not a liberal”?

Comments are closed.