(Editor’s Note: Lord Scorpius, the Muse of Hate, has returned to take a Joy Ride through the State of Georgia with his favorite traveling companions: Vulcan, Mercury, and Dionysus.
As always, Mercury is driving the Iron Chariot in the Sunny South. Dionysus is providing the finest wine for our entourage. Vulcan has been traveling with us ever since our visit to Birmingham.
Today, we are driving through the State of Georgia for no other reason than to enjoy ourselves on a bright summer day. We are taking a Joy Ride through the Cotton Kingdom. Along the way, we will pick up a few travelers and humor them!
Caution: You are about to enter the literary zone!)
Lord Scorpius: We are crossing the Chattahoochee River. I have always loved this state. The vast majority of my kinfolks still live here in Georgia. My family moved to Alabama from Georgia over a century ago.
Vulcan: That is why you feel closer to the State of Georgia than to any other state besides the State of Alabama. You have a special connection to the City of Dublin and the City of Tifton. The graves of your ancestors can be found here.
Lord Scorpius: Correct.
My family has lived all over Central Georgia and South Georgia. My own grandmother briefly lived here in Andersonville. In the War Between the States, the Confederacy maintained a famous prison camp here.
I have been here many times over the years. As a historian, there is nothing that I like better than visiting meaningful places, and this is one of the most meaningful places in all of Southwest Georgia.
Movies have been made about this place. It is a lot more interesting than nearby Plains where President Jimmy Carter came from.
The Lincoln Memorial:
Vulcan: Why have you led us to this spot?
Lord Scorpius: Isn’t it obvious? Andersonville is a monument to the wisdom of the divine President Abraham Lincoln. It is the site of one of the greatest self inflicted tragedies that ever befell Yankeeland.
Were it not for Abraham Lincoln, who sits across from Martin Luther King, Jr’s new Chinese granite sculpture on the National Mall, which Charles Krauthammer recently described as the “American Pantheon,” this small town in Georgia would have no historical significance, and all these poor souls from states like Massachusetts and New York wouldn’t be buried here.
In the future, I think it would be a good idea to rebuild the Lincoln Memorial here. That way the divine Lincoln could look across this Union cemetery at his magnificent accomplishment for the next 150 years of American history!
Vulcan: Isn’t it the fault of the Confederacy that the Union soldiers here lived in such squalid conditions?
Lord Scorpius: No, that is the fault of the divine Lincoln.
Thanks to his Union blockade of the Gulf Coast, which was designed to cripple our agricultural economy, he succeeded in starving everyone in the countryside around here.
There were food riots in Columbus and Montgomery during the War Between the States. The starving women of Dixie had to riot in the streets to feed their own children. In such a desperate situation, the maintenance of the Union soldiers in this 19th century concentration camp was the least of our concerns.
It is sort of like what happened to the Jews in Germany during the Second World War. I believe the same naval blockade tactic was used against Germany near the end of the First World War.
It left quite an impression on Adolf Hitler. That is why he needed the “lebensraum” in the Ukraine.
Vulcan: So where are we going next in our travels? We have been to Andersonville to see the greatness of the immortal Abraham Lincoln whose grace was dispensed to Jeffrey Imm of R.E.A.L. several times in the year 2010.
Lord Scorpius: I suggest we visit suburban Atlanta in North Georgia.
Vulcan: What the hell kind of place is this? Are you telling me that real people actually want to live among these vast parking lots and commercial strips? It looks like the City of Atlanta has exploded.
It must be easy to abandon these places because they were designed in such a way as to not really be worth caring about. Will the people of Georgia still be shopping at this Denny’s restaurant and this McDonald’s and this Best Buy and Wal-Mart two hundred years from now?
Lord Scorpius: Unlikely.
Many years ago, cities were designed in such a way to actually make them habitable, in such a way to make them worthy of your loyalty, in a grand project that we called “civilization.” No one has any civic pride anymore in suburban Atlanta because these nomads have to live in cartoon cities like this to escape the Black Undertow.
It must be demoralizing to be a nomad living in a cookie cutter apartment across from this muffler shop, across from this hamburger shack, across from this vast parking lot at the Wal-Mart which absorbs all this heat in the summer and fries you like a scrambled egg if you spend more than five seconds standing in the same place.
Vulcan: How do you explain the geography of this hideously deformed city, this place you Southerners call Newnan, GA, as we travel down this exit ramp on “I-85 North”?
There are some parts of this city which are genuinely pleasant for a tourist to look at and experience. It almost looks like another civilization thrived here in the distant past. A great race of people who have disappeared among this cartoon landscape.
Lord Scorpius: Many years ago, the City of Newnan was an organic creation of the nation of Dixie, which you can see reflected in its churches, monuments, and finer homes, but now it is part of the USA, part of Barack Hussein Obama’s project of Black Run Amerika, and everyone here is supposed to worship the divine MLK and the monumental achievements of Eisenhower and LBJ, and the greatness of His Royal Blackness, Barack Hussein Obama.
Do you see this massive imperial highway? You can drive up this massive imperial highway in either direction into Alabama or North Carolina. It was the “Big Government” that created this mighty road.
Do you see all these cartoon houses out here? Do you see this commercial clusterfuck of a society where everyone is so isolated in their shattered cartoon communities that they don’t even know their own neighbors?
It was Big Government and the Invisible Hand and the Black Undertow that formed an unholy alliance to create the abomination that is Newnan, GA. Taken together, these three forces have combined to wreck the civilization of Dixieland.
If you keep driving up this imperial highway, you will pass through a place called Commerce, GA which is another cartoon city that exists along I-85 which looks almost identical to what we can see here at this juncture in the highway.
Spartanburg and Charlotte have also taken on the same unremarkable civic character. You can travel through Raleigh and Richmond all the way to Washington and take in the same identical and unremarkable scenic view.
Vulcan: What is the Black Undertow?
Lord Scorpius: The Black Undertow is an Invisible Hand (one many several others) that keeps moving White people out here into my beloved Georgia countryside. It keeps destroying my rural communities and small towns and my favorite counties in West Georgia.
The Black Undertow is Climate Change, Habitat Change, Urban Sprawl … you name it. I bet no one hates the Black Undertow more than the divine Artemis who plays among our forests and fields.
In any case, the Black Undertow is well understood, and many people can perceive its existence now, more every day, but Big Government and the Invisible Hand and Amerikan culture are equally culpable in creating these cartoon cities, and we must focus our penetrating gaze on these other aspects of the problem in order to understand their synergy.
Mercury: There is a man standing alongside the highway here. He is signaling to us. He is requesting we give him a ride. Should we allow this man to join our entourage in the Iron Chariot?
Vulcan: If I am not mistaken, it is none other than Karl Marx, the Founding Father of Communism! What is he doing here?
Lord Scorpius: Let’s give him a ride.
I want to hear what he has to say about what we have seen here in suburban Atlanta. I’m not impressed by the handiwork of BRA’s Invisible Hand, Chamber-of-Commerce-ism, Babbittism, etc.
Dionysus: Isn’t Karl Marx a Jewish communist?
The yahoos are demanding that we run over Karl Marx here. The White Nationalist movement is already saying you are insane. Why would you confirm their point of view by giving Karl Marx, the arch Jewish conspirator, an audience?
Lord Scorpius: I have been to Mount Olympus. I’ve been given the fire of the gods by Vulcan. I’ve been armed with the weapons of light by the divine Apollo. I’ve had a conversation with Artemis.
Why should I care what someone as small as Greg Johnson has to say about me? Who cares? Karl Marx can join our Joy Ride here. Crack him open a beer. We have a lot to discuss.
Karl Marx: Thanks for giving me a ride. Who are my traveling companions this afternoon?
Mercury: There is another gentleman on the other side of the road requesting that we give him a ride.
Lord Scorpius: Oh, that’s St. Francis.
He is definitely one of us. Please allow St. Francis to hop on board the Joy Ride. I’ve been wanting to see Karl Marx and St. Francis have a conversation about free market capitalism for five years now.
Narrator: Over the next hour, Karl Marx and St. Francis have a passionate debate about Christianity and the proletariat, much to the amusement of their traveling companions from Mount Olympus.
Karl Marx and St. Francis are ready to come to blows over Marx’s theory that religion is the opiate of the masses when suddenly …. a massive iron chariot passes our entourage on I-85 North.
St. Francis: In the name of Heaven, what has just driven past us?
Karl Marx: I have never seen such a mechanical contraption. It is much bigger than our “vehicle.” The length of this horseless carriage implies that its carries with it the mark of high social status in this country, which our traveling companions have labeled “Black Run Amerika.”
Lord Scorpius: Friends, what you have just witnessed here in the State of Georgia, is none other than Adam Smith and Barack Hussein Obama passing us in BRA’s Freedom Ride on the way to Washington.
According to the Mainstream Media, it cost the U.S. taxpayer over a $1 million dollars to construct BRA’s Freedom Ride in the Nation of Canada, and the President of the United States, His Royal Blackness Barack Hussein Obama, has been traveling across the American Heartland in the towns and cities such as this one that have been ravaged by Mr. Smith’s Invisible Hand and Barack Hussein Obama’s Big Government to win his reelection to the White House in 2012.
The divine trickster Loki has brought you here to the 21st century to witness Barack Hussein Obama and Adam Smith who are allies.
In doing so, Loki has shown you that neither of you really like the Invisible Hand and Big Government and the Black Undertow, and if you could only set aside your theological differences, you could work together to figure out a solution to this common problem.
Karl Marx: A solution to capitalism?
St. Francis: A solution to the Satanic force of avarice that drives this Invisible Hand that has disfigured the Kingdom of God?
Vulcan: Yes, a solution!
Scorpius: A solution to the problem of money which is behind the modern world.
To be continued …