#17. Hate’s Biggest Joke

John Calvin's trial for heresy at the New York Times

New York City

One day Martin Luther and John Calvin woke up from a long nap through what came to be remembered as “the modern world.” They decided to read the New York Times Editorial page.

The New York Times said to Luther and Calvin: we have judged you to be hateful, reactionary, bigots, extremists, racists, xenophobes, fearmongers, nativists, heterocentrists, rightwing conservatives, sexists, “enemies of this great society,” etc, etc.

We hereby certify that you are not the mainstream. The “mainstream” is what we have said it is here in this authoritative newspaper whose stock price is worth $8 dollars. Go back to Alabama and Arkansas to preach your “hate” there.

Luther and Calvin looked at each other. Then they looked back at the New York Times and their response was very simple.

Who made you the judge, jury, and executioner of what is “mainstream” in America? The only real “judge” is our Father in Heaven who carried the Cross at Calvary. He believed in truth and morality.

Is that an “extremist” position? Well, if that is the case, then we won’t listen to you anymore. We’re gonna kinda “take a stand” here against you.

Note: The New York Times was shot down in a “crossfire” of uproarious laughter in Dixie for taking itself so seriously. Only a Yankee in the sky could take himself that seriously. Let’s say a prayer for him.

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Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Occidental Dissent